Majority of times, I’m the only person who interrogates the words I say to a T. It took me years to realize that I was literally becoming my own worse enemy, growing fond of having Silence as a best friend and looking strangely at others who passed by simply because I could say “ugh, you don’t even KNOW me”.
But honestly, I just never wanted anyone to know me, I felt like I didn’t have much for anyone to know. My thoughts were like stop and go sessions and none of them seemed to stick to me, unless it was something superficial and shallow like hair, fitness, or clothes. It’s kinda weird when on the outside, you look like you have the whole world to talk about the wording comes out amateur and childish and undefined and…like you hadn’t even giving it any thought. I’m the type of person that gives my words too MUCH thought and that’s why many’a times, they rarely ever make it from my mouth.
I feel I do have things to say, but everything I want to say is going to be judged, critiqued, and frowned upon. Some may even grow disappointed in me because I’m not thinking they way I should’ve been thinking all of these years. But, the earth has been for going on a gazillion years…Is there honestly a right way to think, do, or live life? No, so why should I be heavily critiqued and judged by it. It’s about time I start getting comfortable with who I am and putting my honest thoughts out there. I will still be tactful about my words, I’m not someone that loves to hurt people and drain out there emotions. But I do have a voice that people should adhere to and not just “assume” what it sounds like.
I normally like writing long posts about nothing, don’t know why. But I won’t do that here. I’ll try to be quick and to the point, keep it fairly simplistic. And that’s all.
~ thinkblind ~