Self…I Forgive You

Self, you are one awkward person…but I forgive you. And even though you look and shift your eyes away from me all the time, and how your words can get choppy in the middle of a conversation. Even when you laugh and end up the only one laughing and find yourself having to brush it off with a shrug and a smile, I forgive you. I forgive you for being so weird around people and being so doggone socially awkward at times in the mind.

And you know what else I forgive you for? Being quiet. And I forgive you for being rather reserved and observant. I forgive you for being clumsy at times especially when you’re nervous and when your hands start shaking and sweating til you have to hide them in the pockets of that new jacket you got from work the other night. I forgive you for passing up past opportunites because you felt you just weren’t ready to embrace them yet, and I forgive you for going home all the time and not wanting to hang out even when people constantly wanted you to. And I forgive you for all the friends and crushes that you know probably give bad vibes to because all you can do is stare at them and smile or shift your eyes away from them quickly.

I forgive you for being socially weird….strange….awkward.

You know why? Because I love how sweet and gracious you are, and how humorous you actually can be. I admire your silence, it’s a skill to not put everything in front of people and to let them learn you gradually. You seem to command presence everywhere you go, I know you feel all those eyes watching you as you float down the street. You’re very pretty, you’re really nice, and other times, you’re rather blunt and straight to the point. You like half of simplicity mixed with complexity. You try to be tactful with people’s feelings even when they trample over your’s with a tractor. People won’t realize it, but it’s just not in you to be mean….at least not right now. lol You can’t be a perfect soul and I understand that, which is why I’m fairly okay with your mix of imperfections. People don’t know you yet, but hopefully…

They will.

But until then…

Self, I forgive you.

Have you forgiven yourself today?

~ thinkblind ~

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