I’m really over love these days, especially with good ol’ Anonyman. That will also explain why I haven’t been on here blogging because the thought of him has seriously been clogging my head. I would have loved to have left this in the past after seeing him with that other girl, but it seems like since then he’s been fighting harder for my attention. We still don’t necessarily conversate but he keeps trying to grasp my attention and when we do talk, because he’s in culinary he’s always selling something, and he’s always trying to get my attention and our conversations never really move behind “i got this for fifty cent“.
Okay, now I’m mad.
But should I be? Maybe he doesn’t realize that I just assumed he and her were together.
Oh that’s some bull crap he knows what I was thinking, he looked right at me.
I really was willing to just let him go and be free as a bird and I really, I honestly wasn’t gonna hold anything against him. But what’s getting under my skin is how much MORE he’s been in my eyesight, and now he’s trying to break the touch barrier and talk to me more, and what makes me even more upset is that my heart constantly races when he is in my sight. Just hate when my heart wants something that bad and your mind is trying to get you over that hump and everything starts seeming so futile. I mean, do you guys ever get sick of being harrassed by doggone butterflies in your stomach?
I REALLY need an exterminator now.
Cause I don’t want to feel like this anymore, he’s just being so confusing these days, and I know I’ve been more direct about what I feel just trying to gauge exactly where his head is at, so he can’t say I’ve been that confusing (though I know I do have my ways… lol). I guess I’m still cushioning myself for when he finally turns away and moves on but I really expected him to have been moved on, not finally reaching out to tap me on my shoulder and shoot me peace signs, and say hi and talk to me at their little bake sale thing. I’m so confused. Is he trying to confuse me? Or maybe I’m still reading too much into this. Hey I wasn’t even looking for Anonyman!
… … … …
I really do love getting butterflies, but I hate being confused by them. Is it or is it not okay for me to feel this way? Man, just when you think you’re in the clear, that darn fog moves in.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
~ thinkblind ~