why? Why? WHY!!!??

How come every time you get OVER a problem, life never wastes time throwing yet ANOTHER curveball at you?

New Dude and I are pretty much over with. We were getting close, sorta, but I just don’t like him like that, I just wasn’t feeling it. Not to mention, he started making…romantic suggestions and advances pretty early on. I mean I don’t even think I’ve known him a month, and due to my harrassing work schedule we’ve never hung out not even once and he was already sending me overly flirtatious texts, asking me if I would kiss him, saying how he was gonna get his own place and invite me over and spend nights with him O_O”, and some other junk. So just now, I finally sat him down and made it clear, friends is the only level I want to be on. I mean, I suppose all of that wouldn’t bother me had I been so very attracted to him in the first place but I’m just…not. I’m sorry man, but it had to be said.

So I did, I was straight about it but tried to remain tactful and not TRY to hurt his feelings but, I knew someone was gonna get hurt anyways. Awwww I feel like SUCH a bad guy right now, but don’t people appreciate that? I mean, his first denial was “we’re just friends!”…saw straight through that lie. And after I told him I wanted to remain friends he was like “alright that’s cool, nah you straight” and left immediately….if we were really just friends you wouldn’t be that upset with me.

So all in all I pretty much NEVER expect to hear from him again. I feel bad but all in all I feel so much better that I finally got that off my chest. I mean I just went ahead and did so because I didn’t want to lead him on and THEN have this talk, now that would’ve just been mean. I mean, seriously, yesterday when we were talking and he was getting extra super close, I was trying to toss him all the hints. That I was guarded, I don’t like being around a lot of people, I get chlaustrophobic and paranoid, and these are things that I’ve pretty much been gotten over but I was just using that to steer him away but apparently he took it as a CHALLENGE. So I just gave him a big fat DEAD END. Hell, what else do I need to say!? lol It’s not funny, I really do feel bad but at least now I know what type of person I am. I just couldn’t let that go on knowing his feelings were probably getting deeper and mine hadn’t even budged I mean…how can you do somebody like that? Today it has been confirmed: I’m not cold-blooded.

And THEN, ya’ll I haven’t been sticking true to my anger against Anonyman at ALL. Oh he’s back in the picture in bright, vibrant colors! But I like talking to him though, he’s funny and “trying to identify” with me telling me that he has a ‘non social side’ like me and all this other crap. Trying to sound vulnerable, I think I can pretty much assume he’s only after my knickers, I could be wrong. I could be, but these days, I’ve been right on target with everyone I come in contact with…such a terribly awesome trait. lol Ya’ll, I can’t even begin to explain what’s going on between Anonyman and I but I can garuntee you he’s stiiiiill getting on my nerves…just in a loving sorta way.

And NOW, gosh right AFTER I get over and straighten out New Dude and hoping to kinda get through the Anonyman fog, why oh WHY is this Newer Dude getting in the picture?



I just can’t win for losin!!! lol

I was in the middle of checking in for one of my “school clients” about a project I had to revise (which I need to be revising right now lol) and he came up there and he was talking to me like normal. So I’m like cool, okay, I could just talk. So then he starts asking me what program I’m in, I say ‘3D Animation’ you know not really thinking anything of it. So he proceeds to tell me he’s a rapper or whatever and asking if I do CD covers and mixtapes so I’m like sure, I could do things like that. So THEN he asks me for my number. I didn’t think much of it when I gave it to him cause all I’m thinking is “Helloooooooo MONEEEEEEEY!!!!” lol but then I think back on it…that’s the same way Anonyman (YES ANONYMAN!!!) got my number. Anoynman was telling me he was starting his own business and asked if I wanted a position or something or whatever and then asked if he could get my number so he could call me about “business things” and do you know every time we talk on the phone or text, he never mentions anything about that darned business!? lol I should bring that up…

Gosh I HATE this, I’m trying to be a good decent kind-hearted individual that is tactful of other people’s feelings but they just keep fallin in my lap like DANG LEAVE ME ALONE! lol Gawd, this isn’t fair. lol And let me tell you something else, these three guys aren’t the only guys making eyes with me. I’ve just started noticing that it’s TONS of them, these 3 are just the only ones who’ve gotten my number.


I tell ya I’ll be so glad when school gets out come June 5.



~ thinkblind ~


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