I should stop setting up all of that stuff.
And Just DO IT.
This year on January 1 of 2013, I decided against the usual writing my list down of “New Year’s Resolutions” and what I had hoped to accomplish by the end of that year. I really began to see that I do that all the time, and usually only a third of it gets down by the end of the year, and that small portion of the list only got down because I cracked down on it towards the end of that year.
So this year I clearly said “F It” and that I was just gonna go with the flow and let whatever wanted to happen, HAPPEN.
And I’ll be honest, it seems like more is trying to happen. I have an interview to get a better paying and pretty stable job (that I hope I get!). It’s at a call center but it will be an upgrade for the other things I plan on doing this year. And then this Friday, I’m going to FINALLY take my driver’s exam and get my license! I can’t TELL you how many New Year’s Resolutions lists THAT idea has been on. lol
I’m beginning to see a very unusual pattern about myself. It’s unusual to me because I don’t know if many people work this way.
But I find that I work faster and more efficient when I don’t have a deadline pinned on me. I can get things done in a week if I know I have all year to work on it, I just do and I don’t know why.
I think alot of my goal setting always fell through because of the type of people I associated with. People who always forced their dreams of me upon me and most of my goals were kinda….dictated? If you will, maybe that weren’t spawn from my own brain. But when I did come up with goals for myself, half of the time they were met but very lazily at that. I don’t know, I’ve been dreaming alot lately.
Dreaming pretty big until it’s starting to kind of scary me. I never really let my imagination take me to these places that I’ve been going herelately. Dreaming about getting a car, moving to a new city for my first home by myself, I think that’s what’s really getting me. It’s in my heart to move out of the CITY not just out of the house. To be like two or three hours away from home, I don’t know if it’s a good idea. But I keep speaking it out of my mouth when I least expect to and I just get good vibes from it plus I’m meeting more people FROM that city and I’m starting to feel like it’s my calling or something.
I’ll be graduating from school and really wanna start free lancing and hopefully land a position, and honestly, I think one of my bigger dreams have been to move to L.A. And what’s even more ironic is that a friend of mine from my very first job just went over there I think like early June… I just feel like something’s calling me, like life is calling me to come out and see that life is more vibrant than the normal routine I mindlessly walk through everyday. I think what my heart is truly yearning for is just a change in venue. It just wants to see something different and be around some different folks. Not people that have known me since I was a baby or people who already have an idea of who I should be, or whathaveyou. People who expect me to be a certain way at all times, I guess I just want to branch out.
And I’m the type who doesn’t really DO that. But it’s on my heart to move and travel and keep on going somewhere whether people believe that about me or not. I guess I’m just scared…and that’s what’s been limiting my imagination alot of these days. Trying to take on being just another average human on this dirt rock we call Earth.
But we aren’t meant to be average…It’s just the obstacle of Insecurity we have to climb over to realize we’re more than average. We’re downright inspiring people. And the veil is being uncovered from me…I just need a change. A real change, not just cutting my hair, not just trying to get back in shape, not any other random things I come up with but I want to explore more without having my whole journey dictated and planned.
I should stop setting so many goals and just do it.
It’s funny, I wrote that in my journal. That I was gonna stop thinking about doing so much stuff and just DO IT. And here I am…..doing it.
~ thinkblind ~