Seriously, how do people do it? How do they just jump up, meet random people, and grasp their attention and make an impact on their lives whether it was for five seconds or forty years?
I guess I do leave an impact on people….a silent one. The type of impact that makes people curious about knowing me. I throw the soft wink, the innocent giggle, the come-hithering smile, and that definitely makes everyone interested to know me.
But then we come to know each other and dwell in some conversation and it’s there, in the moment where I have to talk and tell my side of things, where life seems to spiral into this random vortex of confusion. There’s a certain handful of people that know me to be outgoing, but to everyone else, talking to me is harder than trying to whoop a rock’s ASS.
Sometimes I just want to come out to people and say “HEY! I! AM!! LIVELY!!!” but I mean would that work? Should I break out into song and dance the next time I meet someone? Possibly pull out that little Carlton Banks dance from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Ya’ll know the one. lol
I won’t complain. Because I guess in the end, the people who come to know of my “real” personality are the ones who will appreciate and love me the most anyways. At this point in time I just can’t deal with anymore fakers who are only in it to exploit whatever they can about me and then toss me aside. I guess until I find that friend, boyfriend, best friend, whomever…..I’ll just be in it alone.
It sounds kinda bad and kinda lonely but it’s not. At least right now it isn’t. I got a few things that I want to go ahead and try out. 😉
~ thinkblind ~