I don’t know WHAT I was going for with this blog. lol I really don’t. I wanted to sound like all the other bloggers out there. Educated, like I knew a whole bunch of things and I could teach the world something new everyday. Like I just had so much to talk about, I wanted to see if what I had to say would matter.
But you know….now that I go back and look through all of my old posts. It’s just not me. I mean it is ME, I don’t have any extra writers on here nor are people sending me posts to put up, but it sounds like me trying to be something I’m not. It sounds like me trying to fake smarts and wits and whatever when the actual POINT of this blog was to open up to people and reveal the true me.
And it seems like (as always) I went and did the complete opposite.
I wanted people to think I was smart, to think I was educated, to think that I had more going on up in my head besides surface thoughts. I wanted people to think I was this deep, analytical person who saw the world through a hundred kaleidoscopes and said that everything I saw was “remarkable” or something like that. I wanted to seem scientific, I wanted to appear to people to be the “Brains AND the Beauty”.
But hell is it hard trying to keep up with that kinda cover-up.
And so I had to think to myself. I said “Self” myself said “Hmm?” I said…. (LOL! Mini Mr. Brown Moment from Tyler Perry) this is probably why I’ve had such a problem keeping up with blogs in the past. I always felt that when my blogs got too personal, it was time to delete them. And honestly, like I mentioned before, numerous times was this blog on the brink of extinction. lol
But I don’t know, from hereon out I’m gonna try to be more real with my thoughts and say them as they come to my head. I mean, whether people read them or not, I don’t think I really care anymore. I got kinda scared when I started getting all those subbies, lol, people were actually LISTENING to me. But you know what? That’s okay too. That is juuuuuuuust fine. Cause one day eventually, I have to get out there and let people know that I have things to say! What things? I don’t know. But I’ll most definitely let you know as soon as I think of some.
I guess in reality I’m not a person that knows a lot of things. I’m a person that feels a lot of things. I connect more with my heart than I do my mind. But I didn’t want people to know that for whatever reason. I wanted them to feel like I was like them. Like I sat around and discussed politics and crime, and knew stats and numbers and letters for whatever topic when I don’t. I’m sure one day I will grow into that, but the purpose of this blog was to be myself and doggonit we’re gonna DO JUST THAT!!!
~ thinkblind ~