You know, I was chit chattin with a co-worker last night about kids. She was asking me if I had any or if I had any nieces or nephews or whathaveyou’s for some kind of “little kid party” or whatever, so I frankly replied with. “No.” She said I was kinda harsh about it but I wasn’t trying to be. I had had a looong day of working two jobs and spending loads of time commuting on buses so I was more than out of it by the time I got to my second job. PLUS my day of feminity decided to arrive. Yaaay! -___-”
But that’s beside the point, eventually I told her I didn’t think I wanted to have kids. I guess I said it roughly again but then I told her I didn’t mean it in THAT way. I actually really LOVE kids. Kids tag onto me like they tag onto candy in Walmart. I love playing with them, talking to them, listening to them, really I do. I just don’t want my OWN.
And I’ll tell ya why.
And I mean ALL the responsibility. These days, I think when people initally think about having kids, they just think of caring for it financially and giving it a little love here and there. Mainly it’s about the money. How will I care for it? How will it eat? How will it live? What do I do, how many jobs will I have to work? And while all of that is important, I think people FORGET about outside forces that will happen to your child.
Kids get snatched everyday. Kids get murdered. Kids run away. Kids grow up and they become the thems and theys that we all HATED growing up. Kids talk and they branch out and talk to others and become their own person. Kids don’t stay kids. Kids become the people we wanna whoop every minute of the day!
And I was telling her like this: when I think about having kids of my own I don’t think about bringing another life into the world. Essentially, you’re bringing another YOU into this world. And honestly, do you think you can deal with yourself??? Everything you did growing up as a kid. What your mom and dad found out about and the things they STILL don’t know about, could you deal with that? I said I was a pretty secretive kid and it would drive me crazy to know that my child was probably hiding things from me. I said I would most definitely be overprotective.
So she was like she would keep her kids in activities and extra curricular whatever so they wouldn’t have time to have their minds on the wrong things. And while it *sounded* like good advice, in a way you have to let bad things happen to your kids because that’s how they grow. That’s how they learn to cope. They got to go through a little something to know how to DEAL with a little something. You can’t protect them from everything, you’re not gonna be ABLE to protect them from everything. That child will be rolling around in a steel bubble before you know it. lol
I think parenting is a little bit of financial, a little bit of love, and a WHOLE HECK OF A LOT OF TRUST. You’ve got to trust that everything you’ve instilled and screamed down their throat will stick by the time they REALLY start going out on their own.
And I just don’t know if I’ll be the parent that can let go that easily…..I don’t know.
I’ll probably be like my mom. Trying to dictate every piece of her life the older she (or he) gets. And then they’re resent me for it. Til they start going through a little something something, and come to appreciate me for it. lol Now that I think about it, I’ll probably be screaming the same words to them that my mom screams to me. lol That’s just how it is though isn’t it?
I would like to have kids. But with the external forces (other people harming them), the internal forces (them harming themselves), all the things they could go through, dealing with them financially, having to give them all that unconditional love even at those moments where it’s the hardest to do so and KNOWING that having this child will be a lifetime contract?! That this kiddo will be bound to your hip until one of you dies? lol Forget marriage, having a kid is the REAL committment! lol
I don’t know. I just wouldn’t want one of my own. I like kids that have to go home to their OWN parents. Now if they gotta stay with me? 0.0″ ……. noooow we gotta problem. lol GO THE HECK HOME MAN!!!
So what do you think?