It’s Not Like I Like It Anymore…

The job that I’m leaving that is. It’s not like I like it anymore, it’s not like I’m gonna stay with it for the rest of my life. So why do I feel so guilty every time one of my managers approach me about my giving a one-week notice?

It’s another one of those things that I didn’t…..see……coming…..0.0″ I mean honestly. I just knew that when I found another job I was gonna scream at the top of my lungs I QUIT!!!!!! But it wasn’t like that….I actually felt kinda bad about giving a one week notice after deciding that this would be better for me physically and mentally. I feel like I’m burning unneccessary bridges with them. Burnt bridges that could be avoided if I would just….stay.

But I don’t want to……it’s as simple as that. I. Don’t. WANT. To. I’m…kinda tired of killing myself at a job I barely get any recognition at. I’m kinda tired of working the late shift and having to jump up in the next few hours to go to my other job WHICH is not really their problem, and I understand that….so I’m solving my problems. Okay. 😀

I kinda knew it wasn’t going to be that simple. I already don’t want to work Black Friday as it is. As a retail associate for the past 3 years, I HATE BLACK FRIDAY!!!!!! It’s the worst time EVER to deal with other people. It’s a day that….unless you are a shopper, you will literally grow to HATE humanity! And I was supposed to work that day…..ALL DAY? Hahahahahahahahaha no. No matter what store you go to, or how long you’ve been there, whether you know the ins and outs or can barely get a grip on the ropes, for some reason you’re just never entirely prepared for this damn day. I want this Black Friday to be the LAST Black Friday I have to work in retail. I don’t want to spend another Black Friday constantly folding clothes and being blinded by the merciless and vicious determination of the foreign shopper, or the snappy and superior attitude of the native shopper. I’m downright OVER it. I’m literally burnt out with retail EVERYTHING.

I want to be at a desk…in an office somwhere, filing and organizing and punching in numbers. The things I used to do in high school for three years when I was a student assistant in all of the offices up front. From the Guidance Office to the Attendanace office, used to work in the Library in Middle School, that was things I loved to do. Organizing the Dewey Decimal System, running errands all over the school for Attendance or taking all the phone calls for Guidance and all the mini projects all the counselours would have you do. I miss that. Since being student aide in my senior year, I haven’t been back in an office YET. I almost and I mean I ALMOST got a position to be an attorney’s assistant at the age of 16 because she was just so impressed by my boldness. lol And I’m not even one of the bold types, I just walked in and asked for a job all in my cute little professional gear. I call it my naive nature….but you can call it bold. lol Had it not been for someone who jumped in at the last minute with 2 years of actual experience in that field, she was gonna give me the job. She had me apply and bring a resume in and everything. lol Ms. Merideth…..I should call her back. lol

But I’m gonna keep trying. This year I truly learned that if I stay positive and believe that the dream is real and that God is behind me, ANYTHING can happen. I got my license and within four months of that got a car. I have to tell you guys, I have this little note thing on my phone right? So I write little short notes in it sometimes when I just want to jot down my feelings so on this particular day, November 15 of 2013 at 1:02 here is a little note I wrote:

I HATE THE FREAKIN BUSES!!!!!! By one SECOND I missed bus 20, now I have to wait a whole FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!!!!!

I’m so pissed man. One day SOON it won’t be like this and I can go as I please!

SICK of buses man!

Yeah, so from that note you can tell a few things. 1) Capital letters can be my friends lol and 2) I REALLY hated the buses I mean they were good, but I was just OVER it. And do you know, the very next day, I got my Maggie? Spent pretty much all day at the dealership and God made it so I wouldn’t have to type these angry little notes again. Now I’ll be typing angry little notes about how I’m broke down on the side of the road and how I have to catch the bus back home. lol Ohhh it’s coming. lol

I don’t have bad anger issues you guys, I really don’t. But when you miss a bus by ONE MILLISECOND……haaa, it just….it really does something to you. lmbo!

So buy anyways, I don’t even know what I’m talking about now. Guess I’m just rambling. I actually really need to be going to sleep now. I’ve got an EARLY work shift starting at 4 in the morning. Seems like the moment I got my car, the busier my life seemed to get….The car was supposed to buy me some time not make room for MORE stuff. lol But it’s whatever. Since I’ve been hitting my goals this year about everything else, maybe I’ll hit a new goal about getting a job in an office somewhere where my feet won’t swell like logs….maybe like thin sponges….but not LOGS.

 

~thinkblind~

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