The Heart’s Setback

I’m only human….okay? And I miss people….okay? For some of you, you may recall this certain fellow as Anonyman. I haven’t been in any kind of contact with him in months now, and honestly I’ve been too busy to even think about him at all. I like the fact that I stay busy alot more but what I don’t like is when I have down time and all these thoughts start to seep back into my brain.

No I didn’t come in contact with him, but I did look at his facebook page. The only thing that posessed me to do that was wanting to see his smile again. That was about it. I’m pretty much set straight about him but, I mean c’mon, just because your head is on straight doesn’t always mean your heart is gonna follow suit. In my heart, stiiiill LIKE this dude and I HATE IT. But in my head, I know that no matter how I try and twist and turn and mold and burn, cut and paste, or whatever to this story, I will still have the same story ending……..

WHY’D CHA DO IT GIRL!!!?

lol He’ll still be my polar opposite, he’ll still be…him. He’ll still be someone else’s man, he’ll still be all of that. So in my head, it’s done and over it. My heart is like…97% through with this story. And I’m just being honest.

I just hate looking at anything from him because I know it’s like having a setback. I’m being reminded, I’m being immediately flushed with “what ifs” and “maybe he” and all this other past tense stuff knowing good and well that what’s done is done and the mark has been made. We aren’t even friends. I mean it didn’t end terribly but….we don’t talk. We just grew away from each other, one of those things. Which is good in all honesty is probably the best thing that could’ve happened. But, ya’ll know how it is when your heart gets in the way. And I’m just keeping it real. You can speak with all the logical booksmart, einstein vocabulary that you want to, but when your heart gets really wrapped around something, it’s hard for even the coldest person to just….drop it. And you know it.

That’s just what I’m having here. Just a little miniature setback that’s all. I feel better when I write about these things cause it helps me move on from it. So…..that was all.

Maybe I should go on a late night drive? Too bad I gotta get up at 2 in the morning… -__-”

 

~thinkblind~

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