I’m Ready For A Change

And I don’t know how it’s gonna happen but I do know one thing

I gotta take a step in SOME thing.

What with everything seeming to go down around me, I’m still trying to keep a little glimmer of light, just a little spec of hope. That something, anything will pull through. These days, I’m just…..decent. People ask me how I’m doing. My response.

I’m just doing.

Aren’t we all? But I don’t want to “just be doing” anymore. I want to be either happy, mad, joyful, upset, shocked, embarrassed I want to feel something. And these days I haven’t been feeling anything. Nothing but STRESS. I always knew that stress could make you feel depressed and down and angry. But who knew stress could wipe out your emotions completely… I just feel nothing.

I feel like I want to love, but when the opportunity to show that love presents itself, I freeze.

And I don’t want to be like that anymore.

I want to get out and do things. Experience life. Amazon sends me these incredible coupons all the time and I may start buying into them and checking some things out. I mean why not!? Okay maybe it’s not traveling overseas, or going to the theme parks but a 2 hour paint session is more thrilling than my life right now. Private horseback riding lessons? I’m game! They’ve even sent me coupons to take pole dancing classes and I’ve REALLY been wanting to try that! lol

I just wanna do something.

Back on my fitness grind again, and this time I may actually take it seriously, not that I never did before, but this may actually be the time I stick to it. I’m making my goals public, I’m putting it out there like I’m gonna put it here.

My goal is to

Get to an 18-19% body fat by August 9, 2014!!!!!

That’s a good 5 months from now (I started on the 9 of March). I’ve never made specific goals before it was always “I wanna lose weight” or “I wanna be toned” and not actually know what were the specifics or the details.

It’s not even just about that, I want to start dressing up more, I want to get into life again. I just want to live through some experiences and stop dreaming about them.

I just want to stop DREAMING.

And just DO IT.

 

~thinkblind~

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “I’m Ready For A Change

  1. I can definitely understand this post. I have felt like that so many times in my life where I got tired of just being. Like I wanted to be something more. Do something more. Have something to look forward. Living in the moment has really helped me. It helps with stress and depression too. Whatever I am doing at the moment, I do that. I try to enjoy it, relish it. I mean most people arent out doing amazing things on a daily basis. We have to be happy in every moment, big and small. Of course, I am learning this too. Life is a journey. A short one. And I dont want to wake up in my 80s one day and think of all of the moments I missed. Lol…..your post inspired me clearly. Enjoy your night 🙂

    • “most people aren’t out doing amazing things on a daily basis” I love that! Because that’s where you start, just doing things you enjoy. Doing things that make you happy and that make you want to take in more joy and happiness. I love this comment and thank you very much reading and sharing! ♥

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: